Hard decision's

I still can't decide what to do. Do I ask him or not? I know this much that if I ask his help, I'll send it to his office.

I try to think what will happen if I do that.

But the reality drives me in to ask his help.

What if he realize why I go in hospital? What if he has already figer that out?
What if he feels sick after he has count 2 plus 2?

He is a smart man. He'll get soon, especially then when he sees my face change.

What a dilemma!!

I have so awesome work place!!

I'm so happy about my work place. It's so much different in better way than the previous work place.
Everything works fine, we have great relationship between every team member in the team I work with and with other teams.

My few little things at the University [2 researches] don't mind them, my treatment at the hospital is normal to them etc. I respect them as a person and as a professional pedagogy's and vise versa. I am to them a professional teacher and professional field teacher from and to University.

It's great that I didn't turn up an asshole. All thanks to that man I love. Now I have awesome work place and lovely team members, other pedagogy's and nanny's. He didn't let the blocks fall of the "box". All the blocks are in order :D

Sorry about the misspelling. I have to write without my left forefinger because I cooked other day and I cut my finger. The blade of the knife went trough the skin, straight to the muscle. Few years ago I cooked and I burned my forehead. I kitchen towel set on fire from the electric stove. :D :D

ME IN KITCHEN

Long long time I had energy to cook.
Because I have lovely work place, they respect me and now I can do my work.

And after 30 days, I'll be a teacher to the students, who are studying in the University of Helsinki.

They are studying in the same education that I have. A kindergarten teacher/the bachelor degree of early childhood education

You can see from then picture what happened, when I started to cook. (It's not from my kitchen) :D :D

I had blood all over my kitchen, on the doors, on the floor, on the dishes, even on my frying pan.

:D

The food was great. Luckily my sister is a nurse, so I had few very good tips, how the bleeding stops.

Maybe I should take extra insurance? :D

Does you life feel boring? Don't worry, do the Russian style. Color it! 2 part

Now I can tell lovely ghost stories about my summer holiday in the Russian way.

It goes like this:

How my summer went? "Well, let me tell you. I went to cruise and I met very odd people." Then I'll add few pictures from the "Ghost Ship". Then I can keep going by adding always some pictures from different movies and tell to people that those pictures are actually from my summer holiday -album!

And wau! My summer vocation was so much neater than the others. Do copy this idea, it's not mine, it's the Russians idea.

If you don't go actually where you said you might go, just add some adaptable pictures from different movies and there you go, you had the most interesting vocation or excursion :D :D :D :D

Does you life feel boring? Don't worry, do the Russian style. Color it!

After this "little" incident I really has to think hard what to believe, when it's Russia who tells the story. Because it really can be a story!

The story is in all cases from Hollywood. Like this Russians expedition the the North Pole! What a laugh!! Did it really happen? If so, why the picture is from James Cameron's Titanic. And that found out the Finnish reader, who's hobby's are movies.

That was so bad that we Finns saw the movie!

It's so Russian's way the lie about everything and take lot different things which isn't their's. That proved "Pekka Peitsi" in 1944. The book is "Tässä sitä nyt ollaan" and I have read it. Even he said that the Russia steel what isn't theirs to keep.

Did they really thought that they don't get caught on a lie. And it's not Reuters fault, the Russia send the picture to the Reuters.

I can hear the hole world is laughing at the moment.!!

But hey, there is one good thing the Russia has finally found Titanic.

Back to Ice Stadium

I promise to my friend Katri that I'll help her with this "Urban Dream". So I'm selling the Naxok's CD's. (The name might be wrong, the point isn't)

So I have to Aleksandria to print same excell chart's. Just in case. That company has told that we might has to do same kind of inventory about the CD's I didn't sell and the CD's I did.

Helping hand would be so nice. This thing will be Sunday 12.8 about at noon. If I ahs to do that by myself, that will take forever.

And I'm not going to put my high heel's, not now when I found out that I has to carry very much money with me. Now I would really need the bodyguard with me. I can't run with the high heel's! So I has to look crappy, safety first.

More weird neighbor's

Now it's proved. I have weird neighbor's! Who wouldn't have?

Few weeks ago some dude wave. I don't know to who but when I looked, he waved again. That is the best way get yourself in deep trouble. I do not wave to a person who I can't see well! I didn't see his face. He could be anyone! even a weirdo!

Now I was sitting next to my computer and people are staring straight trough my window. I can't live behind curtains, that's just sick.

What if I would live with a bigger man than I'm, no one would wave at me, no one wouldn't stare at me. They would buy (finally) TV, DVD-player, get a life or/and try to find a life their own.

In here that's not just normal. (Actually, where it is?)

Americans in Finland - volume 2 SHIT HAPPENS, RIGHT?

I have met lot of people. More than most of people in my age.

This far I have met only 3 nice, lovely, well mannered person who are originally from U.S.A and who lives here (2 of them has lived here over 12 years and third one about 9. So THEY KNOW). Rest of them behave like ignorant American can. Think the worst kind of American and multiple that twice and add there the fact that they live here.

Didn't U.S.A wanted them there? So they send them here? Living among us!

They dislike everything, they underestimate us about in everything. To them we are: - Stupid and ignorant - we don't understand anything about our minister's or legal system - we don't know how our system works, so they tell's that to us. OH Thank you. I feel more educated now! - according to them we are so stupid that everything has to teach to us, everything about our country. - We don't cope in other country's - We can't get married with immigrants because some day we might go to our spouse's country and we don't survive there. That is state of mind. Where we put our mind into, we succeed.

And when we stand up for ourselves with words (which seems to me is too hard to most of them) they call us with faul language. And they use bad language. They believe that they can blame us and we don't stand up.

Now I understand why certain people don't want to be named by their country. Why they want to be a Finn than American. I don't blame them at all. Good for them! They are more welcome here that we are welcomed to U.S.A.

I think there should be a jury, where these 3 good people can decide who can stay here and who can't, when people comes here from U.S.A (2 of them has lived here over 12 years and third one about 9. So THEY KNOW) That is full day job! In that way in here would move so much crap from U.S.A.

One of those three I worked for about 2 years. (1998-2000) They all had already fit in this society and they are Finns (at least to me).

This isn't about those 3 people, they are beyond those kind of crap. I stand up for them as well as I stand up any other Finn. One I love more than anyone, one is my good friend and my former boss and one is my mother's family friend.

This is only about those bad behaving American's who lives in here. There are many very nice, lovely people, who I know from U.S.A and they live there. They has nothing to do with this.

Mo Ghràdh

Thank you that you are not like the other's.

You don't know how rare personality you have. How lovely you really are? No matter what the other people would say!

Tha gaol agam ort, more and more, if that's possible.

You are the only people who stands up for us. (You as well)

If I could vote in next American election...

If I could vote in next American election, I vote for Hillary Clinton!!

She is the best.

We have woman president, why they can't have one? First 3 years she has to clean up the mess, what the previous president left and then she raise the country back where it was 10 years ago.

So, my dear readers, after you have find out what issues they represent and still you think who is the BEST. Vote for Hillary Clinton!

American wedding vs. Finnish wedding

American wedding:

-Man has to ask "permission" to the marriage from the brides father.
- Huge an engagement party
- Rehearsal dinner
- Rehearsal/practice wedding
- Marriage vow
- the wedding takes few days to over a week (rehearsal this and rehearsal that, ceremony plus the wedding feast.)
- The bride and groom has to dance the waltz

Finnish wedding:

- The couple announce to their family's that their are getting married. The man don't ask permission to that from anyone.
- Small an engagement party
- NO Rehearsal dinner
-NO Rehearsal/practice wedding
- NO Marriage vow
- Small wedding
- The actual wedding takes few hours (ceremony plus the wedding feast)
- the best part to all of us who has two left legs, the waltz isn't necessity.

We get married once, we don't practice that. so if something goes wrong, it will go wrong even if you had practice that before. It's more like adventurous in that way. No, honestly you don't get so much stressed out, when you know that you don't need to practice this. Besides the marriage with the person you love is the main point, not the wedding. You can get married in barn if you like, if the person is the right person.

In Finnish wedding the bride and groom says only 2 words: "I do" Everything else comes from the priest. You can't say anything else when the priest asks:"Do you...take...?" You can't say something like:
"jep"
"oukki doukki"
"Why not?"
"If you say so"
"You wouldn't ask that if you would seen her in..."
"Do I? Let me think..."
"This isn't the line where I can sign in to the...?"
"Me...her...(little bit laugh)...yeah, right"

Just simple two words and that's it.

I know that many of you (my readers) think that we are not serious when we get married. We are. We want to keep it simple. Because the marriage is the point, not how much you can put money in the wedding. It's not that stressing when you can keep things simple.

Americans in Finland

There is two kind of Americans in Finland:

A) Those who loves to live here even this country is very cold in the winters. So Cold that the milk gets frozen if you put that between you window =)
Those people don't complain unless there is something to complain. When they have a reason to complain. The get work (which is match to their schooling/education), in their work they don't tell other's that they would hate us (Finn's), that they would hate everything what Finland stand for. NO.

They blend in. They choose to live among us, most of them has become one of us. They are Finn's with their behavior, their status is a Finn. (with different nationality or with two citizen ship's) Some of them marry a Finn and stay here. Some (unfortunately) goes back some day, that's sad. These kind of people has great sense of humor. Some of them help us. Not as a American, as a person. Some of them stops us turning to assholes.

BUT THE OTHER GROUP IS A DIFFERENT KETTLE OF FISH:

Group B)
They come here, who knows why. And then they start that...how can I say...the Bullshit. They complain about everything. And I mean everything. (I HAVEN'T MET THIS PERSON)

He's doing that in public. He keeps his blog, where everyone can read what he has against this country. And he's married with a Finn. And he has academic education (a dentist) He is one of those what every parent has warned about. He is those Americans who spoil other American reputation who wants to stay here. (Those who comes here and expect us to worship him because he comes from U.S.A.) And when we don't, he hates this country. One of his readers wrote very well to him. He/she said that if he/she would be him, he/she would move away from this country immediately.

They say that you live in the country, the country's way. Finland isn't in that forest (behind God's back) that we don't have airline. You can take any plane to U.S.A, if this country is so from ass.

If we Finns are so from the ass, why the f*k he's staying here? Why did he marry a Finn in the first place? Did he marry a woman who don't go with him? What kind of woman marry a man like him? He's a nag, complaining like a woman. Why he spread wrong kind image about Americans? I KNOW that every American don't feel the same way like he does.

If he wants to fly back to states, he can just go to the airport. If in that time, when he's there, there is no plane or room in any plane to states, he can take any plane to Europe. They fly in states from other Europe country's.

I hope that those Americans who lives here, could stand up for us. Our word isn't nothing compare to Americans opinion.

Oh baker's dream, if I marry American and I move with him to the states. It's my choice!! I wouldn't move there just complain everything that country stands for.
It's impolite to complain everything about the country you live in. The country where your spouse is from. That just shows bad judgement.

See for your self:
http://www.finlandforthought.net/

F.Y.I. The man I love isn't like the group B. He's beyond any league!

HIGH-HEAL'S AND SHOE'S

What is difference between high-heels and just shoe's?

Let me tell you. More like shoe you. You can see 2 pictures about two examples. (Both are mine.)

The black shoe is "high-heel". (Right picture) It's 10 cm high. It don't fit so well and you can't walk with that long time. So it's just a shoe. I know the pictures isn't that great.

The dark pink shoe is real high-heal. (Left picture) It's 11,5 cm high. And it fit so well. Like a nose to your face. It 's very comfortable. It fit's like sneaker. You can walk with it long, all day long if you like. My feel loves those high-heels.

No pain and neat looking =) Thanks to my training and my helper, I can use high-heels 8. - 12.8.07 When they have this "Urbaani Unelma" (Urban dream) in old ice stadium in Helsinki. (Helsingin jäähalli)
Not in Hjallis Harkimo's Arena.

HOSPITAL APPOINTMENT'S - THE JUDGEMENT DAY

I have appointment at the hospital - once more.

Tuesday 21.8. 11.40

The same day it will be 4 years 40 minutes when my treatment started, if I remember right. Anyway, my treatment started in August 2003.

It will be the "Judgement day". Then I know how the healing went.

I wish from all my heart that the man who is my rock, the man I love, could be there with me.

This is very crucial day. In that appointment my surgeon is going the tell me, what they are doing next.

My love, come with me.

To my love

Mar chraoibh tha mi gun rùsg
No mar loingeas gun stiùir

'Si do chomhairle ghlic
Nì mi ionndruinn a-nis;
Bha i luachmhor dhomh
tric is feumail

Chaoidh cha dealaich mo ghràdh
's mo spèis riut

This is from 1880 from Perthshire. You can find the poem; all of it; from Michael Newton's book called "A handbook of the Scottish Gaelic world. From page 95 - 96

Oh, you might want to know want that means. It means:

"I am like a tree without bark,
like a ship without a rudder.

It is your words of wisdom,
That I miss now.
They were valuable to me,
frequent and useful.

My love and affection for you will
Stay with me forever."

The actual poem is longer and these sentences I took from the actual poem.

Tattoo - I WANT ONE...

My sister has one very neat one. The man I love has quite cool tattoo's. F.Y.I. I haven't stare his tattoo's. (I don't stare him at all.) It's really hard to not to see them. But they are not so huge that you can see them cross the room nor is his ego.

Only thing what I check from the man is his hands, how wide is his shoulder's, his side's (wrong word, I know) and jugular fossa, that's between our collarbone's. I don't need to see other body part, thank you.

That isn't relevant. What is, is his personality. Every person who has been educated in my country, knows exactly what kind part's men has and what kind of part we have. Other things matter.

He is the Only one man has pass my test. He is beautiful/handsome inside and outside.
He is the only man who don't stare my chest/breasts or try to see under my T-shirt.
NO, he isn't a gay! He is intelligent man with manners.

I have seen couple quite neat tattoo's that I'd like to take. If I would take a tattoo, I think it wouldn't be the last one.

People who knows me, has seen and met me, they all know that I'm quite chicken in these matters.

Those hearts, first letter's of name's, "forever yours", "up yours ;)" etc are old stuff. Same thing is with date's. In some cases they are fine. Like when the man sweep my feet of or date's witch is linked to dating etc.

I would like to have something new. Maybe I'll take one then when I start to date. Hard to say.

SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG IN FINNISH SOCIETY

Every where people are talking about loosing weight.
WHO would talk about gaining weight? Anybody, somebody - nobody. how thin their really want to get? (for your notice, I'm slim, thin etc. I lived in NY and I didn't gain weight. So I should have great odds?)

Is that because society is ruled by men and men what's to have and see women who has thin waist, big breasts and small bottom. Doesn't the intellectuality mean anything anymore? Don't men want to be treated intellectual person's? Why they don't see us as equal? And why Finnish men try to corrupt other men who are from other western country's, western society's?

Is our society so corrupted that we don't see people as human beings?

Then there is other kind of people, they categorise people differently. If I'm married, I'm some body. I'm the person who can be taken seriously and I can be trusted. If I'm not I'm nothing. AND this person was a woman.

What is wrong in my country? Does marriage specify people? If we go little bit further the next step is that other's will specify other's by husband's title or his work.

Of course I get married but not the convenience reasons. I get married because I love that man.

I'm that kind of woman that I want to learn how to be with one man, who I marry, who I love. [I don't want to be with any other man. Just because it's great practice.]

It's his right to shape me as he likes in certain activity's. Don't see this in wrong way. It's nothing twisted and there is no catch.

I don't what tell the man I love that he wasn't the first. How he can trust me after that?

I might be crazy because I don't fall in love so easily. Once in a life time.

Don't hate me because of this but I have found very good way to avoid every kind of asking about my marital status: I tell to nosy people that I'm a widow. That will end every kind of question's.
That's because I'm quite young and I look even younger (about 10 years), they can't put me in any category. It's wrong to lie, I know. It will give me the space I need.

Because that is the space I'm going to keep when I'm married. Not towards my husband, it's towards everyone else. I don't want that my life (or our life) is the top issue in their coffee table conversation's.