What HE should be like?

This is kind of funny. We have this inquiry in our radio: "Should man be athletic or not?"

Well, YES! Not the bodybuilder kind but he has to look like a man.

Men in my country are very thin and weak. And I don't like those kid of men at all. Because I'm slim, the man can't be. He has to so much bigger that I can hide behind him. If he's strong or rugged looking. He has to be strong minded too. Only then the relationship can be in the right balance.

And I have learned that weak minded men can't cope with me. Just because things I has to go trough, the operation's in the hospital, all other things what comes from that, it really takes much from me but it will take much from the man. 99% of people hate hospital's; me too; but I have to go there. I has to go trough very exhausting and hard treatments. Man who wants to stay beside me, he has be strong minded and he can't pity me. In this time my treatment is almost done. About 95 % has already done.

I have seen so many of my "friends" come and go because of this. Nobody at this far hasn't stay beside me. And that make me stronger and now I choose better my friends and I don't tell about his to anyone. Most of my friends knows that I go in operations but they don't know why or what my doctors are doing. This is my little secret or big secret. In the end it's so horrible that people can't face it like it would be part of any one's life. (Well it's part of mine.)

And think, in same time I do my Master's degree, my Master's research and my mathematical learning environment research, and I work 8 hour/day. And still I have time to my friend and much more. It's all about organize zing and prioritizing. What is important to me, I'll always find time, always. Like anyone.

Without this treatment, I wouldn't be as healthy as I'm now.

Home sweet home, right?

Finally I have time to do things that I couldn't do in winter. I painted my sister's old spice-rack with the same pain that I use in the wall of my foyer. And it's good as new. Color isn't pink, it's brown, Savannah brown.

It was quite operation to put that thing in my kitchen wall. I sat on my worktop (in my kitchen), I pushed my feet against the wall and push the screw with my screwdriver and after that I screw it tight. The style isn't the point, best thing is that it's in my kitchen wall and I can use it.

Other operation was when I wash my windows. I live in 5 Th floor, that's about 20 meter's high from the ground. And my window is 2, 5 meter's wide, so I have to be creative. When I was washing the window, a man from the opposite building thought that I'm going to jump. I'm not suicidal and I won't jump. (I'm not that fan about "Desperate Housewives". And I'm more like Bree :))

And finally I have 90% of my books in the bookshelf. 10% is in the basement.

People usually tell me that they love books but when they see my books they are shocked. I have LOTS of books. I have those about 2000 and yes, i have read almost all of them. There are maybe 20 books that I haven't read.

And I found 4 chair's. that was hard. Because I know what kind of they has to be that they fit in my home. It has to be wooden chair. I don't like pink.

Only thing what is different from my wooden, brown style is the table where is my TV, videos and DVD-player. That has to be gray, more like the color is metal-gray.

Don't think that it took me only few weeks to build this up. No way.

But see for yourself. ( I apologize that I forget the kitchen towel in the picture, sorry. But it's my home)

Do you what really irritate me?

Men who has attitude like they know how I think, how I feel and they know better what is good for me?

Oh, I HATE that! So much!

Those kind of men are 99% religious (fanatic one's). I have met those kind of men a lot! Every man who is like that I have only one word to say: NO. And I told one of those NO, do you know what he told me? According to him I don't know what I want, I don't know how I feel, I don't know what is good for me?

One of those men told to me that I don't know what I want (wrong, I do.), according to him, I don't know how I feel (wrong, I know exactly how I feel) and according to him, he knows better what is good for me (that's the line what nobody cross. I know better than him.) But hey, he's a priest, not married. (Wonder why?)

Those kind of men don't make me feel safe and loved. They make me feel that I'm a prisoner and they don't respect me as a person and a woman (if you can say that) and they don't see me as a individual. They see me something they believe they can possess.

To all women: Do not take man like those. They are rare in other country's but in this country, we have them. I will never marry a man who has born in this country. Never. It makes me sick when men from this country looks at me.

If I can't find a person who I feel safe with and who respect me as a person and a woman (a woman who likes do science, man who things that it's normal.) Those kind of man who I told you about, they are going to be after me when my face is done.

But if I can find a man like I describe, I'm safe. Those kind of men don't come near me. They know that they can't never own me because I already has a "owner".

I thought that I find one like that but he hates me. Or not! I don't know. But I don't tell about him in here. He has right to be in shadows. But this I can tell you, when he's around, I'm left alone, in peace. He really is the only man, who don't make me feel nauseous.

HE woke up such feeling that I didn't know that I have those. In this day I thought that I can't feel anything that powerful. I was so wrong. You think that this is "just a talk". It isn't. Now I know that I can feel very powerful feelings. You might think that that those feelings makes me lunatic. No, they don't. It's kind of scary.

Stylistic fault in public defense of a doctoral dissertation

How come some people/student's don't know what is appropriate outfit in this kind of ceremony. Even I know. That person didn't acknowledge the professor which was our latest leader of our faculty. She didn't even understood that that ceremony wasn't about her.

It's so impolite and shows bad manners when some one is dressed up in white T-shirt and in black bra. Just one look at the mirror should tell the person that that isn't O.K.

Simple jacket suit with right shoes are just fine.

Well I knew that what to wear. Black jacket suit, black shoes with appropriate jewelry. And I knew that there are all the professors and Ph.D. teachers who will look every student how they dressed up.

Everything we has to see. How you can be believable in science when every one has seen that you don't respect these kind of things? You are not. So easy.

I showed with my outfit (too) that I respect the ceremony and it's people.